Would it be wrong of me to get a boyfriend just for the free massages? Of course, for this plan to work, I would have to make sure that this man, firstly, enjoyed giving massages and, secondly, was actually good at them. I’m not sure how I would figure this out before I commited to being some dude’s girlfriend, but I’m sure it’s possible. I only ask this because my back is hurting something fierce this morning and I can only stretch my hands so far to knead my stiff muscles myself. Plus, I’m sure it looks awkward and a little strange on the CCTV directed at my reception desk. Yeah, I’m on camera right now.


It’s times like these that I recall those blissful few weeks in Thailand when I was getting an hour long, full-body massage almost on a daily basis. I was also 5lbs lighter and sun kissed. Real life is so much shittier than vacation life sometimes!

As you may have noticed the ‘mood’ has stayed with me till ‘noon and it’s not looking like it’s going to lift anytime soon…even with the sun coming out.

So there!


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