I’ve written about this privately and have discussed my current views with family and friends, but since I can’t think of anything else to write about today, I thought I’d be controversial and open it up on here.
A lot of you may already know this, but about a year ago I decided that I’d rather not get married, nor have children.
It seems like a shocking statement and when I realized that I felt this way, I was also shocked myself. It’s not so much that I don’t want to get married. It’s more that I really can envision a wonderful future if I don’t (not so much if I do, at this point). I’m not saying that I want to be single, or man-free, just not married with no children.
The interesting part of this for me is that at one point in my life I was one of those girls who dreamed of white dresses, happily ever after, and white picket fences. I did believe that this is what I wanted. What would make me happy. What I should be striving for. But when I imagined the possibility of it not happening for me, my reaction was one of relief not loss.
I can be quite tunnel minded at times, focusing on one option and one option only. Taking the chosen path and not considering the other possible routes ahead of me. I’ve found myself in a few stressful times thinking this way but when I finally allowed myself to see the bigger picture I am often bombarded with an overwhelming sense of well-being and comfort.
I’m not anti-marriage or anti-children. In fact, I’m quite the opposite. I am surrounded by happily married couples with wonderful children. It’s not experience that has scared me off. It’s recognizing who I am, what makes me happy, and where I see my future going.
That being said, I’m sure once I post this, I’ll meet Mr. LETSGETMARRIEDTOMORROWIFNOTRIGHTTHISSECOND and be eating my words in no time, while holding my preggo belly, and showing off my beautiful wedding and engagement rings.