Truth or Dare?

Truth.

Sometimes I regret my decision to move here.

There. I said it.

Yesterday I was walking down Uxbridge road. The sun was shining down on me. My new haircut was looking kick ass and I was feeling pretty awesometastic. I came towards two large *black women with young children in strollers. One of them was very loudly dropping f-bombs and generally causing a big scene.

I had my sun glasses on, so I know she couldn’t see the shock in my eyes, but I did stare at her as I came closer, mostly to see how old the children were in the stroller. As I went to pass her by, she took a step towards me and screamed in my face:

“WHITE C*NT”!

I didn’t flinch or react. And for a few moments as I kept on walking down the road, I felt fine. Then, it hit me. The aggression and hatred and rage in her words slapped me across the face. I felt the hot tears begin to sting my eyes and quickly changed direction.  I ducked into a side road and let the tears fall freely from behind my sun glasses. I forced myself to take in deep breaths and stopped myself from shaking. After a couple minutes of this, I pulled myself together enough to move on. I made my way to Shepherd’s Bush Market and pretended to browse, head down, eyes diverted.

Here’s the thing. London is not an easy a place to live. It’s not a **vacation destination. It is a beautiful and exciting and a full of adventure and possibilities city, but easy? Nuh uh. Life in Vancouver was easy. I lived two blocks from work. Could easily afford my own apartment in the centre of town. Had people looking out for me. People who knew my history.

BUT…

This is why I moved to London. The struggle, the craziness, the refreshing feeling of experiencing something new every single day, even if it’s not nice. And, to be honest, ***98% of the time I’m so happy with my decision. I can have easy when I’m old. For now, I guess I’ll just have to work on growing a tougher skin.  

 * I would not normally describe a person by ethnicity, but it is important for the story

** Unless you’re ridiculously wealthy

***Will be 100% when I have more permanent employment

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “Truth or Dare?

  1. Mom

    As usual, well said, Bryanna. You have to embrace even the ugly bits as being part of the ‘experience’. Love you.

  2. I have to admit, it’s actually something I love about New York. You never know when something is going to kick off. This city always seems on the edge of something. Something good, something violent, something.

    But what happened to you sucks.

  3. Cowboy

    Please take comfort knowing that people in far away places pray for your well being, strength and blessings. So while a fool such as that tries to bring you down, hopefully you feel an unexplained sense of well being.

    That’s us.

    Agape!

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